Ho, Netizens!

'Tis I again, Tex, your humble servant and host for Disembodied Animal Head Theatre!

Firstly, allow me this opportunity to give thanks to all of you. The outpouring of e-mails from all around this blue-green orb expressing support and inquiring as to when episode four of our meager broadcast shall be available has been, quite simply, stunning. Your kind words have meant so much to this simple rubber chicken.

Secondly, you will be happy to know that our labor problems are coming to a head -- no pun intended! The ensemble has agreed to return to the broadcast, contingent upon the fulfillment of certain bric-a-brac and nonsense. Never fear, the show shall go on! (As an aside, I have retained Mr. de Netta as my personal assistant. He aspires to properly join the ensemble someday, but must first intern before being granted full membership. Personally, I feel that he has the talent -- nay, the moxie -- to be the head of the ensemble. No pun intended. Alas, such a circumvention of the rules would be deemed unfair to those who have navigated their way through the correct channels.)

Finally, and on a more scholarly note, I wish to draw your attention to mononymic theatrical impresario, Garrick. You no doubt recognize the name . . . Garrick is the creative genius behind that bold new form of theatrical expression named "Llama Drama". Yes, his full-scale production of Hello Dolly with a cast of 250 llamas in full period attire shall forever be remembered as a milestone of theatrical progress; progress that reaches as far back as Aeschylus and Longinus. Well, Garrick has since moved on to a project of great ambition: He has taken it upon himself to translate the whole of William Shakespeare's works into something called "Leet". I've been told "Leet" (or "1337", whatever that means) is some sort of feral-creolesque techno language. At any rate, it is a bold undertaking, and we wish Garrick well.

Here are some samples, from Henry V, A Midsummer Night's Dream, and The Tempest. Enjoy! Or as the Leetfolk say, Woohoo!

Excelsior!

-- Tex

Episode the Third has arrived for your enjoyment.

Due to a labor dispute (see last entry) our ensemble has staged a walk-out. The show must go on, however, and Tex has discovered a daring new talent to debut in this episode.

A Special Note from Your Host . . .

Ho, Netizens!

It appears that my rather lengthy introduction to Mr. Piazza's well-rehearsed performance of Hamlet's famous soliloquy from Act III Scene i prevented said artist from fully sharing his craft. As a result, I understand that the ensemble has staged a "walk-out" (how do disembodied heads walk?) until such a time as I tender an apology for my verbosity.

I am bound by my sacred honor to maintain integrity in the face of this "labor dispute" and refuse to coddle over-sensitive artist-types who have fallen to pieces on the nonce. Hopefully the majority of the cast will rally to the side of the true victim in this matter, namely me.

Meantimes, yours truly has been combing the City of Angels for a performer willing to cross the picket line, as it were, and satisfy the Shakespearean desires of the literally thousands of arts and culture fanatics who have found their way to this corner of the internet in the past few weeks.

I do apologize to you, the viewers, for this disruption in service.

"If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended: That you have but slumbered here . . . " (but then, I'm certain you know the rest!)

Excelsior!

-- Tex